Since declaring my French major and introducing this culture as a main focus of my attentions and studies, I have often found a mysterious fascination with French women among my fellow Americans. Whether they’re referring to the heroic life of Jeanne d’Arc or the daring fashions of Coco Chanel, I believe many Americans, especially woman, romanticize the idea of who French women are and what they look like. From what I have observed, French women are often categorized into the following traits: beautiful. fancy. skinny. fashionable. great in bed. lead romantically simple lives. confident but submissive. are all mistresses. So what am I supposed to think when Americans confuse me for a French native?
I can’t exactly prove if those
are true or not, partially because that would require the time and efforts of
answering greater questions about what makes a woman French and what French
nationality really is, and partially because I don’t have the resources of
observing solely “French” women – living in one of the most multicultural cities
in Europe, many women I meet are not French by birth.
I have, however, made a list of
observations and thoughts in response to America’s perception of French women.
DISCLAIMER: As a feminist writer,
I am eager to understand and translate the culture here in France with regards
to women. I have no specific thesis or aim, however, thus making my
observations and unofficial research difficult. In my writing I have made many generalizations,
even though I personally find generalizations to be potentially damaging and
offensive. That being said, when I speak of “American women” and “French women,”
I am making very sweeping generalizations that I very well understand are not
applicable to every woman living in one of these two countries.
1.) Beauty and self-image.
One of the first things I noticed
about French women was that I have never seen them look at the ground when they
walk. For someone who habitually tenses her shoulders, stares at her feet, and
attempts to take up as little space as possible, I was impressed by the
confidence that exudes from these women.
Most wear little to no makeup. I
could probably count the number of times on one hand that I’ve seen a French
woman with hair that looked like she did more than brush it and/or throw it up
in a bun. And while they of course take care of themselves, I have never seen
this obsession that many American women have with waxing and cuticle care and
eyelash extensions and looking exactly like the photoshopped size zero models
on the cover of their favorite magazine.
Yet these women just shine. There is something about that “so
what?” attitude that makes all these women seem incredibly gorgeous. They’re
not ashamed of their less-than-perfect teeth or the hair on their arms or the
way their body curves (so long as you dress chic, why does it matter?).
I once mentioned to a friend here
that I felt so unattractive around French women, to which she responded with a
puzzled look, “Eh? Pourquoi? Je ne comprends pas.” [Huh? Why? I don’t
understand.] The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that talking
about your body or your looks in any bad light is not a topic of conversation
among French women. Ever. You are who you are, you look the way you look. No
discussion, no problems. Just buy a fabulous outfit with some rockin’ shoes and
don’t give a poop about what anyone else thinks – because honestly, no one else
is thinking about you the way you think about yourself.
2.) Fashion.
Yes, those stereotypes are all very
real. French women (and I would add men) are incredibly fashionable and they
all take it very seriously. There is no such thing as going to the store in your
pajamas or owning ill-fitted pants. I’ll give you some advice, in case you ever
decide to visit France: if you’re not sure about what to wear to any specific
event or place, always dress up – you’ll fit in just fine.
French fashion is perfected in its
modesty. Elegant but simple, chic but practical, classic but bold. Dark colors,
clean lines, many scarves. But whatever you do, don’t lose your sense of
personality and originality in your wardrobe. The “look” that Americans strive
for is achieved in the understanding that French women have mastered – your best
dress is confidence.
3.) Sex.
I unfortunately have yet to
discuss this topic in detail with many French women. The social circles I
associate with here in Paris are either not French or are highly religious,
which would not accurately represent the majority of the French population.
From what I do understand, sex is
seen as an important and healthy part of life, and there are no strict regards
to marital status. And while it is not unusual to have many sexual partners, most
French women, as with many American women, seem to prefer committing to
long-term relationships rather than experiencing sporadic sexual encounters.
Fidelity and monogamy are honored and valued in all relationships, much unlike
how Hollywood tends to portray French men and women.
4.) Views on life.
A friend and I were once
discussing why French women seem so much more confident than American women in
almost every aspect of life. Why do French women expect and strive for the
best? Why do they not seem to care about anyone’s opinion? What are American
women missing?
While I am sure there are no
simple answers to these questions, I would venture to argue that these
attitudes might be a result of the freedoms and privileges that women enjoy in
France that America has yet to reflect in their governmental policies. They
enjoy greater access to healthcare, are given much longer allowances for
maternity leave, and comprise of almost half of their governing parliament. And
although sexism and misogynistic attitudes are certainly present here in
France, women experience less violence than in America and enjoy greater
freedoms in general. (see: http://www.ambafrance-uk.org/Women-in-French-society-today.html)
So in case you were wondering, I
do see it as a compliment when I’m mistaken for a French woman.
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